Past Mistakes
by Resoan
Summary: After the Sorceress War, Seifer comes back to Balamb. Slight SeiferSquall Told from mostly Seifer's POV.


Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII!!!!

This is set after the game is over.

Please Enjoy and Review

The hours slowly ticked by, an exhausted brunet cupping his chin as he continued reading another document. The office was surprisingly void of clutter, though the desk was slowly filling with more paperwork as the day continued. Finishing the complicated procedure of reading and signing the form, Squall's eyes diverted to a paper on his desk that was unlike any currently occupying the desk's space. This paper looked more like a letter of sorts, unprofessional and hastily written on a standard, lined piece of paper that was stuck carelessly into an envelope. Curious, Squall picked up the paper, opened the envelope, and let his eyes scan across the lined paper before widening with slight shock.

"Is something wrong?," a concerned voice broke through his thoughts, Quistis entering his office with a concerned smile on her lips.

"Read this," Squall instructed, handing the document to his old instructor, a thin line forming on his lips.

Scanning across the page, Quistis' eyes narrowed dangerously, her eyes then evenly meeting those of Squall. "He's coming back? Why? It doesn't make any sense. I thought he hated being told what to do," Quistis stated bluntly, Squall shrugging his shoulders.

"He must be bored," Squall answered shortly, looking down to another document that SeeD needed the answer to ASAP. Noticing that Quistis still stood in his office, Squall asked, "What?"

"You didn't answer my question," Quistis answered, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's Rinoa, isn't it?," Quistis pried, a small frown marring her features as Squall visibly stiffened and remained silent.

"Quistis. I have work to do. We'll talk later," Squall answered, Quistis sighing.

"You always say that, Squall. But you never keep that promise. You're always exhausted when you finish with work, and between working and sleeping no one can ever get a chance to talk to you," Quistis explained exasperatedly, a worried look in her eyes.

Squall glanced up, taking in the concerned eyes that held sisterly feelings and the silent body language that screamed for a hug. "I'm fine. I'll leave early today," Squall promised, leaning over and signing the document in his hand.

Seemingly satisfied, Quistis left the room and shut the door with a quiet thud.

'I wish people would just understand the fact that I need time to myself. Time to reflect, time to think. People who crowd my mind with their own thoughts don't help,' Squall thought, raking his fingers through his hair and sighing.

Several hours later, Squall finished reading through the last document for the day, something or other about sending a party to the Shumi Village to retrieve something. Signing wearily, Squall capped the pen in his tired hand and got to his feet, teetering a moment before regaining balance and trudging slowly to the door. Before he turned the knob a fist pounded on the outside of the door, Squall's eyes opening wider as he slowly registered that someone was trying to get his attention.

"What is it?," Squall deadpanned, opening the door.

"Good to see you too, Squall," arrogant voice filtered to his ears.

"Seifer. I didn't think you were coming this soon," Squall returned, regarding him with Squall's usual stoic exterior.

"Your mail system must suck. I sent that letter at least a month ago," Seifer smirked, crossing his arms against his chest.

Staring into Seifer's mischievous green eyes, Squall tilted his head in tacit response before brushing past him and barely touching the other man's shoulder. An eyebrow lifted, Seifer called after Squall, "Where am I supposed to sleep?"

Turning around, Squall didn't answer, merely looked through him as though he weren't there. He then rolled his eyes and gestured towards himself, Seifer's heavy footsteps now echoing through the hallway nearly in tune with Squall's.

After a few more minutes of walking, Squall's footsteps stopped, Seifer nearly bumping into his back from lack of warning. Squall then opened what Seifer assumed was his dorm door, and stepped inside. Turning on the lights, Squall set LionHeart into his gunblade case, leaning it almost carelessly against the wall.

Seifer casually lifted an eyebrow; there wasn't exactly an ample supply of space for the leader of Balamb Garden as he fully expected. Two or three boxes were stacked on top of the other in one corner, cobwebs forming in the dormant space. A full size bed was unmade and in another corner, a door leading to a bathroom just at the foot of the bed. Other random objects littered the room: a small television set on an end table, a few magazines on weapon upgrades, and now Squall's boots that made lots of noise in otherwise silent rooms.

'So Mister Perfect hasn't got it all,' Seifer thought to himself, noting that there was no couch or extra blankets in the room he was supposed to be occupying with Squall.

Tossing his leather jacket to a small writing desk next to the bed, Squall noticed the creased eyebrows and wondering look on Seifer's normally smug face. "What?," he asked, a small smirk on his face and an eyebrow casually lifted.

"Are you really that blind or haven't you noticed that there's only one bed with no extra blankets for one of us to sleep on the floor? Unless, of course, you wanted to sleep in the same bed," Seifer stated, smirking at the now sheet-faced brunet.

Sighing, Squall raked bare fingers through his hair; 'He's got a point. But the floor's hard and cold…I can't make him sleep there,' Squall thought, gesturing to the bed.

"You can sleep there. I'll take the floor," Squall stated, his normal 'this-is-not-up-for-debate' look on his stoic face.

"Don't act like you're doing me favors, Squall. I can sleep on the floor. Hell, I've slept on concrete in Deling when it was snowing. I don't need your damn sympathy," Seifer spat, shrugging off his long, silver trench coat.

"Don't be an asshole, Seifer. Take the bed," Squall instructed, grabbing one of the two pillows on his bed and trying to find a comfortable spot on the floor.

"I said no! Damn you, Squall," Seifer cursed, grabbing Squall by his shirt. "I don't need anything from anyone, especially from our great hero that saved the world from me no less. Take the bed before I get angry, Squall," Seifer continued, releasing Squall.

"I've seen you angry, Seifer. It doesn't faze me. Now go to sleep," Squall said, lying down on the floor with his hands behind his head.

Hearing no response from Seifer, Squall's eyes drifted closed, feeling at ease for once the entire day. At least, for a moment before an angry blond decided to straddle his waist.

"What the hell are you doing?," Squall asked dangerously, opening his eyes and glaring at the green-eyed man.

"I thought I told you to take the bed, you staunch bastard," Seifer glared back, Squall and Seifer's hands meeting midway as Squall tried to push Seifer off.

"And I thought I told you to take the bed anyway. Why the hell are you so upset about this stupid thing?," Squall asked, his hands now pinned to either side of his head.

"Because," Seifer started, leaning down. "I don't deserve it, Squall," Seifer finished, his breath ghosting over Squall's cold face.

"Get off," Squall instructed, successfully heaving Seifer off of his person and standing.

Squall finally got a good look at his old rival. On the surface everything was the same: green eyes, blond hair, muscular build, and smirk on his lips. But now…the façade had finally begun to peel away. Only to reveal a repentant, tired, and broken individual that only wanted to lie down and die.

His lips pursed, Squall approached the shell of his old rival. So much had changed. "The war is over. Ultimecia is dead. You are no longer under her control, Seifer. Take the bed. If not for you, then for me," Squall requested, grey eyes boring into green.

Breathing a sigh and hearing no more complaints from Seifer, Squall laid down on the floor again, his muscles stiff from sitting in a chair all day. Squall then heard shuffling, and figured Seifer finally took him up on the offer of the bed. 'Stubborn asshole,' Squall thought, his consciousness drifting into peaceful slumber for once in a year.

The Next Morning

Background noises of feet shuffling from the bedroom into the bathroom disturbed his eardrums, still not rendering him fully conscious. Groaning, he tossed to his other side, shivering slightly.

He tossed again, this time ending up on his back. A few moments later, he only knew what was happening to him. He felt a lot warmer than he had a moment ago, and shivers, though not of cold, ran up his spine. His brain was still foggy as he tried to speak and voice his questions to the silence of the room. He opened his eyes lazily, hardly noting the short, blond hair that marred his vision and the closed eyes that hovered an inch or so away from his face. Thinking nothing of it, Squall's eyes drifted closed again, only faintly aware of hands on either side of his head. Waking up a bit more, Squall could have sworn that he felt something touching his legs and vaguely registered something on his face.

Eyes shooting open, Squall noticed that his hands had somehow become entangled in Seifer's hair and that Seifer was currently straddling him and kissing him deeply. Hell, Seifer had even invaded the inner workings of his mouth and Squall had been mere putty in his hands. Painful memories erupted in Squall's mind as he unceremoniously shoved Seifer away, sitting upright and wide-eyed.

Seifer gazed at Squall, an indiscernible look on his face as Squall got to his feet and nonchalantly put on his boots and jacket, then proceeded to the bathroom.

When Squall emerged, Seifer was obviously waiting for him, avoiding his eyes at all costs. "It was a mistake," Squall murmured, walking past the blond. "Nothing more," he finished, leaving the door open for Seifer to close when he decided to leave.

Seifer watched as Squall left, a distinct pain emanating throughout his body. "A mistake, eh, Squall?," Seifer questioned to himself, walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

A Month Later

Seifer panted heavily, a fight with a T-Rexaur taking its toll on the ex-Knight. Thankfully though, fighting in the Training Center kept Seifer's mind off of Squall and all the feelings attached to that morning. In fact, he hadn't even seen Squall since then, and to be quite frank, he didn't care to anytime soon.

Right after the Sorceress War had ended, Seifer wanted to go directly back to Garden with Rai and Fuu and hopefully be able to live there, if he wasn't allowed to become a SeeD again. Of course, Seifer also wanted to talk to Squall and get into his 'good graces' again. Then something dawned on him. Squall had Rinoa now. He didn't need Seifer. He had power, friends, love – everything a man could dream of and more. What would he want with a weakened version of not only his enemy, but also his rival?

Sighing, Seifer got to his feet, popping the joints in his back as his picked up his abandoned silver trench coat. After taking a shower in his assigned dorm room, Seifer trekked to the Cafeteria, hoping not to run into the orphanage gang, lest he have to listen to their boring stories or worse yet be subject to Selphie's nonstop questions about any aspect of his life she deemed interesting.

After sitting down with food in hand, a familiar female sat down next to him, eyeing him warily and shaking her head.

"What the hell do you want, Instructor?," Seifer asked, eating between words.

"I'm no longer your instructor, Seifer," Quistis reminded him curtly, her lips pursed. "I merely wanted to know if Squall ever told you what happened with Rinoa once we were safely back at Garden," Quistis wondered aloud, eyeing Seifer as he stopped mid-bite and shook his head.

"No. We didn't talk much that night, and we haven't talked since," Seifer added, finishing his food.

Quistis sighed; "Rinoa left almost as soon as we returned, Seifer," Quistis explained, her eyes diverted downward and her hands folded on the cafeteria table. "She always was a free spirit. I guess no one, not even those she was close to, could tie her down, even for a while," Quistis explained, her eyes and gaze somber. "Needless to say, Squall was devastated most of all. He became more of a recluse then any of us thought possible. Irvine, Zell, Selphie, and I all tried our best to keep him in high spirits and get him to talk to one of us for his own benefit, but he never did. Not like that's a shock, though. But I still don't think he's over her. Or, at least, he doesn't want another relationship now. Ever if he were left alone long enough," Quistis volunteered more information, gauging Seifer's reaction.

"That's Rinoa for you," Seifer stated. 'Bitch.'

"Yes. Though if she were going to leave, I wish she had never come. Squall was hard-pressed to open up to anyone in the first place, now he's less likely to do so than before she came," Quistis replied darkly, her true intent toward Rinoa showing.

"You hate her, don't you?," Seifer asked slyly.

"I hate her for what she did to Squall, Seifer," Quistis added for him, sighing. "Well, I must be going. I have to help Squall with some paperwork before helping Selphie," Quistis stated, shaking her head.

"Good luck with that," Seifer laughed, thoroughly amused at Quistis for being Selphie's puppet for another dance that Garden was hosting.

"Seifer, if you want to talk to Squall, then do it. He needs you, whether he realizes it or not," Quistis spoke, looking deeply into Seifer's green eyes. "And I think you need him too," she added before leaving the Cafeteria and heading towards the higher-up's offices.

"Need me? What the hell is she on?," Seifer asked himself darkly, getting up and throwing his trash away. "Mr. High and Mighty can manage just fine all by himself," Seifer said bitterly, his words sarcastic and undeniably biting. "Ah, kami, what the hell did I do to deserve this?," Seifer lamented, exiting the Cafeteria.

A Couple Hours Later

Finally working up the nerve to talk to Squall after what happened a month ago, Seifer made his way to Squall's office, hoping to all the gods that Quistis had left to help Selphie and that Squall was alone. Finally reached his office, Seifer knocked on the door, heart jumping a little when Squall replied with a stoic 'It's open.'

Seifer opened the door, Squall hunched over his desk with paperwork and obviously worse for wear. Squall lifted his head, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in Seifer.

"What do you want?," Squall asked, eyes going back to paperwork but his body visibly stiffening.

"I don't even get a 'Hey Seifer! How are you?'?," Seifer asked, laughing with amusement.

Letting his pen drop to the desk, Squall got out of his chair and walked up to Seifer. "I am in no mood to deal with you right now. Say something or get out," Squall said, pointing towards the door.

"I know what happened with Rinoa, Squall. I know everything. Quistis told me. Why the hell didn't you bother?," Seifer asked angrily, leaning towards Squall.

"It was none of your business. Besides, what do you care?," Squall asked cynically, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I care, Squall. I would think you'd know that by now, you reclusive asshole," Seifer countered, grasping Squall's forearms none-too-gently.

"Let go of me," Squall snarled back, jerking backwards but still not releasing his arm from Seifer's strong grip.

"Not this time, Squally-boy," Seifer stated, waiting for Squall to continue.

"She left me. There, are you satisfied now?," Squall stated, his heartbroken eyes boring into Seifer.

"She's not worth beating yourself up about it, Squall. I knew her, but I knew enough to know that she would eventually leave me. Girls like her can't sit still better than a fucking five-year-old. So stop acting all sorry for yourself and get a grip on your reality. You have friends, charge of a major fighting ensemble, and someone who loves you," Seifer stated flatly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What the hell are you talking about?," Squall asked quietly, looking anywhere but at Seifer.

Seifer sighed; "Squall. Don't make me get all mushy here. I'm not ashamed of what I did, and I'd do it again, given the chance. But I'm not gonna let you mope around your office because of some bitch who can't control herself," Seifer stated, eyes blazing.

"I don't love you, Seifer," Squall stated bluntly, his arms relaxing in Seifer's grip.

Seifer's face fell; "That doesn't matter right now. I just want the normal Squall. The one who will train with me, and fight with me when times calls for it," Seifer stated, releasing a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Besides, you can't honestly tell me you didn't like it," Seifer added with a sly smirk and a wink.

Squall's eyes widened; "Come on. Let's go see what Selphie and Quistis have done to the Mod," Seifer stated, tugging Squall's arm as he continued out of the stuffy office.

Another Month Later (A.K.A the Sappy Ending)

Squall had been getting more social and even started smiling now. Quistis smiled to herself. 'I thought Seifer might do the trick,' she thought, watching as Selphie asked them to do some ridiculous task that no one in his right mind would do.

"You're outta your mind," Seifer concluded, crossing his arms.

"Ooooh? Is that so? Then maybe you won't mind if I give a copy of THIS to everyone," Selphie said, grinning evilly. 'And here comes the blackmail,' Quistis thought, suppressing a chuckle.

It was now well known around Balamb Garden that Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart were officially a couple. Of course, this only happened because Selphie 'accidentally' walked in on them doing some…activities that would constitute that sort of relationship.

Later that evening, after their nightly activity, Squall was sound asleep as Seifer slipped out of their bed's covers and threw on some comfortable and warm clothing.

"Seifer? What are you doing?," Squall called sleepily, suppressing a yawn.

Seifer smirked at Squall's appearance. Disheveled brown hair, sleepy grey eyes, and goose bumped-laden torso. "Get some clothes on, Squall," Seifer told him, Squall blinking a few times before the commend registering. He then blindly threw on some clothes, Seifer grasping his arm not only to lead him but to also steady him since he was still sleepy.

"Where are we going?," Squall asked, somewhat grumpy.

"Shhh. You'll see," Seifer said, leading them downstairs.

They finally reached the balcony of the Garden, the full moon staring them both in the face.

"You're a hopeless romantic," Squall stated, leaning against Seifer, his head lolling to Seifer's shoulder.

"And you're a sleepy bastard," Seifer remarked, slipping an arm around his waist. Abruptly, Seifer asked Squall, "Do you love me?"

Squall's eyes widened minutely, turning to look at his lover. "Why do you ask me a question like that?," Squall asked, evading the question.

"Dammit Squall. Answer the question," Seifer persisted, turning Squall around to face him and keeping his hands on Squall's shoulders.

Squall then leaned up and gently pressed his lips to Seifer's. Seifer's arms slipping around Squall's torso, Seifer only began to respond when Squall pulled back. "You remember when I told you it was a mistake?"

"How could I forget?," Seifer answered, their foreheads touching.

"Rinoa was the mistake. Not you," Squall finished, hands invading Seifer's hair and tongue invading Seifer's lips.

Groaning into Squall's mouth, Seifer held Squall tightly, afraid if he lost any leeway he'd lose Squall forever.

He had him. He just didn't want to lose him. To anyone. Especially to his past mistakes.

Review Please?


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